Insert Some Angry Emo Title Entry

I'm angry and emo for two simple reasons:

1) My Dad and my older sister keep bugging me about this crap coursework deadline that I was supposed to do over the summer. Yes, I know that universoty life is important into work and play, BUT that doesn't mean they should peek into my problem, aside from the "£3000" tution fee excuse.

I just wish my tutor should have given the whole class a better assignment, because robots and futuristic stuff are NOT sort of my cup of tea.

AND

2) That horrible 'Middle-Child-Peer-Pressure' syndrome that got me into emotionally stressful and at times, really depressing and emo. Let me explain: Ever since when I was eight or so, I didn't know that I had to SATs, meaning I was a happy child, until at the tender age of ten that when I found out that I was going to the same grammar school as my older sister, who I shall call her CQ. And then, I never forgave my Dad onwards, because during the summer, that old bastard kept bombing me with those English, Maths and Verbal Reasoning test papers all in one go and my childhood days of being a cheerful one soon ended, because of him. Then, there's the 11-year-old SATs and this is where I started to loathe the tests more in the coming years.

By the time I got accepted into a Grammar School (which is full of snobby type boys that I'll never go out on a date with them), I got depressed that some of the people, including my cousin, are cleverer than me and I thought whether I shouldn't have passed the entrance exam and pleased my Dad.

However, then things starting to turn for the worse. By the time I had done my end-of-year tests at the age 0f 14, I was depressed that my maths results were shit and that I nearly flunked Chemistry, though I did score well in English, Physics and French. And then I didn't realised that I could never be the academic type who likes to sit and concentrate in classrooms later on and when it came to GCSEs, I think that the only subject that I love is art: But my artistic freedom of expression was hampered down by my ex-art teacher who forced me to do stuff that I didn't want to. And when it came to academic types GCSEs, I just lost the will to carry on and my Dad and my older sister keep nagging that studying right now in the middle of an exam period is more important than just blogging your hatred to them (and hopefully none of them are going to read I'm complaining about them). I know they care for me, but I just really hate it when they start asking me the same questions EVERY SECOND!!!

And then when it came to AS and A2 Levels exams, they still KEEP bugging me like I'm some sort of a teenager refusing to grow up and change my personality!!! And this is where I start to loathe of why I didn't enrolled to a vocational 6th Form college like CQ. Oh, wait. I forgot, my Dad. He always insisting to go on an Academic 6th Form College, but what I realised is that I can never be like him and be a mathematical genius like him (and I start to even loathe more when he found some spiritualism in form of a REALLY Catholic guy and that he acts like some kind of person who is worse than a Jehovah's Witness coming through the door, telling me if I don't believe in God, then it's a one way ticket to Hell (yeah, like that's going to happen. I think I believe that devils and angels are no different to each other and that they like to hang out with each other and play a bit of Wii)) and that he just doesn't get with my unpredictable personality and what I actually feel. Even a help with the Francis House Hospice didn't help, because I hated my Dad for what I actually am.

A poor confused girl, who is looking for alternative paths in the future. I always hate his one-sided view and plus for the fact that I hate him for not accepting me that I'll never be as clever as them and that people with different minds and problems are always good, instead of trying to be clever, only to fail at life. I just hate him that he's trying to put some peer pressure on me and that he's conviced he's right.

I've got one word to him:

F**K OFF YOU OLD T**T! JUST STOP WORRYING ME AT ALL TIMES! I AM A GROWN PERSON WHO DOESN'T NEED SPIRITUALIST HELP FROM SOME CHURCH ORGANISATION THAT I'LL NEVER GOING TO FOLLOW (Yes, that's right. The Vatican's going to destroy humanity by not sending out condoms to Third World countries and thus AIDS spread and eventually killing them) AND CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, BECAUSE IT'S MY PROBLEM AND I SHOULD BE THE ONE SORTING THIS MESS OUT NOT YOU! YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH, SO SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! THE SAME GOES FOR YOU CQ. YOU MAY KNOW ME FROM THE OUTSIDE AND INSIDE, BUT YOU'LL NEVER SCRATCH THE SURFACE AND FIND WHAT I REALLY FEEL!